I've been thinking a lot recently.. And honestly, a lot has changed from the past 6 months.. Shits happened. I wouldn't deny the fact that I've changed. I've no idea if this change is to the better or worst. But what can I say? I'm feeling more lost than ever. I just feel that I no longer have that confidence in myself.. I have no idea which direction my life is going in, I no longer know what I want. Sometimes I really have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, or if the decisions I've made are right.. I'm those kind that really can't express my feelings into words.
And yeah.. People look at me and think I'm doing well, be it work or social media. Thinking that I'm those carefree kind of person, always smiling, laughing and fooling around. Truth is.. I may be contented with what I have or may seem to have now, but I'm never really happy. I may have people around me who'll always be there for me, but I still feel alone..
I've been trying to find myself again for the past few months and there were so many moments when I just got really tired and wanna give up. I just do not have that courage, that confidence. Anymore.